I have never been myself completely around you.
Sometimes you know you are doing the wrong thing but you put the temporary hapiness first, well do think of the many years of sadness to follow.
Unless it is worth it.
It is too late for me. My heart has been through so much. Some searches for a peaceful rlts and succeeds, i dont mind going through the worst to enjoy a moment of the best. My heart is cold as ice and there is only one fire, one light to reach it. The light is getting dimmer and despite everything, im chasing it. I am so scared i might shut the light out completely but the thought of not reaching it before it is out is even more scary. So with all the wishes i have, i wish time passes faster until i reach it, and that i wont be destroying my only light, my only fire.
And that is going to light brighter.
I feel so broken.
After Sue had a deep thought about having her baby I wondered.
Why would you ever thought of having a baby? If you dont have someone that you love so much, i dont think you would have a baby.
Because the baby has to be the production of love, otherwise how do you protect him for 9 months and 10 days as one and then spend the rest of your life giving him all the best in the world?
Im confused about those young people having kids. That is so miserable. I cannot have kids with random people, and you are not supposed to abort anything, it is killing lives.
But right now i am not so scared of that thought. At all. It is just about the situation that i am in. I would have my baby made today, with the most powerful love, or at least that is what i thought. I would be so great at being a mom. And a wife. And a lover. And i could be anything in the world my loved one just have to name it.
But life is not that simple.
Hanoi my little town in summer.
- 1/4 part of me: I want to be cute and delicate and have a petite body.
- 1/4 part of me: I want to look smokin' hot and sexy in a bikini and have curves and a fuck you attitude
- 1/4 part of me: I don't even care man I can totally eat all of that cake watch me
- 1/4 part of me: I want to murder everyone and laugh as i bathe in their blood
"The reason many people in our society are miserable, sick, and highly stressed is because of an unhealthy attachment to things they have no control over."
Steve Maraboli (via sueryuu)
"I enjoy controlled loneliness. I like wandering around the city alone. I’m not afraid of coming back to an empty flat and lying down in an empty bed. I’m afraid of having no one to miss, of having no one to love."
Kuba Wojewodzki, Polish journalist and comedian (via makelhaft)
Ive come to the conclusion that the fight between the evil and the good, the right and the wrong, pretty much is the fight between the mind and the heart.
You regret things you havent done and you regret things you have done. So what to do? Heart or head?
Its good to be confused and undecided too. It makes you nervous. But for too long it kinda itch.
Is it because im stupid i cant figure it out what to do or because im thinking too much?
Ahh temptation is a bitch.